I am not a believer. Not since I started to get to know life better. Don’t look at me like that. I do, believe in love. Of course, I believe in love. I am freaking romantic. I just don’t think that there is only one person for you in the whole world. I mean, what if that person lives in Antarctica? Will you go all the way there just to be with your ‘one true love’? I’m sorry, but that’s stupid. Moreover, what if that person doesn’t think you are his/her ‘true love’? (Don’t give me the you’ll-know-when-you-meet-that-person talk. I am so not buying it.) Most of all, what if your ‘true love’ isn’t who you expected him/her to be? I’m pretty sure that will ruin your perfect love story fantasy.
Also, I don’t think I can live with one person for the rest of my life and not get tired of him. Sure, it’s nice to love someone that much and I know that those kind of love exists. (My parents are the living proof.) But I don’t think I can do it. Heck, I cannot even imagine myself marrying someone and settling on a little house on a normal town and have cute, little kids. It’s just not appealing to me. And it’s not because I’m promiscuous (Oh, that’ll be the day) or I’m afraid to have commitments and other bull that most people say. I just want to fall in love with someone once and to feel alive and intoxicated. I want to get hurt and understand all the sad love songs that I always listen to. I want to be in love with someone that I met on a young age and get separated with him and then see him again after 15 years and realize that I’m still in love with him. (Told you, I’m a freaking romantic.) But seriously, I want to fall in love once. But I don’t think I would want to marry that person because I don’t want him to stay with me just because of a freaking vow. I want him to choose. If he wants out, fine. I don’t want to be dependent of him. I want us to be free. To have a choice. I want him to say it’s over when he doesn’t love me anymore. Sure, it will hurt but it’s better than him, trying so hard to fall in love with me again just because a damn paper or vow says that that is what he needs to do.
I know it may sound ridiculous to most of you but I’m really not a believer. I don’t think that perfect love stories may exist. Or perfect relationships like those in the movies, TV series or novels. Maybe I’m insane or just plain stupid. Or maybe this is just bitterness because the ‘perfect’ guy in my dreams doesn’t exist. Trust me, I badly want to hope and believe that it’s real. That it’s possible for two people to be in love with each other for their entire life. But right now, I don’t feel like hoping.