Rant #4: Au Revoir, September!

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September was a heck of a roller coaster ride for me. Only, it has way more downs than ups. Despite of that, September made me realize lots of stuff through its short stay in my life.

Anyway, here it goes…

1. You can’t run away from pain, but you can make peace with it. Running away from pain is impossible. You can’t just run away from something intangible–that is the reason why pain is painful. It’s true that we can bury pain but it will come running back when the universe gives you something to remember it. And it could be anything. A movie, a song, a place where you used to hang out, a novel, a word that your friends utter, a news. Whatever. The thing is, it will resurface. Again and again. The only way you can live with all of the pain in your chest is to make peace with it. You have to accept the fact that you’re in pain and that you’re not okay. You need to give yourself a time to grieve. A time to reflect. A time to cry. You need to understand that pain is something that everybody experiences and that drowning from it is something you do not deserve. The bad thing already happened and there’s no way that you can go back in time and stop it from happening. So let it go, make peace with it.

2. You cannot save everyone you love. It’s unfortunate, really. But it’s the sad truth. We can’t save all of them no matter how much we want to. It’s simply because we aren’t superheroes; we are human beings with lots and lots of limitations. We should not hope to do something way beyond our control.

3. We can’t answer all of our questions, especially the most haunting ones. It’s another awful truth, but I believe that we should all remember this one. Sometimes, our ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ aren’t going to be answered. I know how hard it is to turn the page without finding out all of the answers. But trust me, it’s harder to search for something that you will probably never find. Don’t drive yourself to madness just because of an unsolved question. It’s not worth it. Maybe it’s just that sometimes, not knowing all of the reasons is for our own good. Or maybe there really are some things better left unsolved.

4. Sadness is a terrible thing. I’ve already talked about this on my previous rant but September made me realize how fucking awful it really is. The thing is, it’s hard to control sadness. Only a few people can actually do it. But it’s something we should all learn. Plus, drowning in your own sadness isn’t something beautiful. People should STOP romanticizing about it. Seriously, there’s nothing pretty about depression.

5. It is important to talk about your problems. Nothing good happens when you bury your problems. You’re just giving the universe a reason to make you feel sad and alone. Plus, it’s not healthy. If you store all of your problems into your chest, you are set to explode like a ticking time bomb and the explosion will definitely be ugly. In the end, you’re the one who will get hurt the most.

6. There is NOTHING that your family won’t do in order to make you happy. I seldom tell my parents about my life. But because of something bad that happened to me, when they asked me how I was, I burst into ugly tears. Honestly, it felt good when I told them about it. I am not really close with my father but, he tried to make me happy throughout that really terrible week and I really appreciate it.

7. People don’t know how to mind their own business. When someone tells you to give them some time, give it to them. Seriously. Don’t be a jerk. Sometimes, people need space in order to think or digest things. Another thing, if they ask for privacy, RESPECT it. There are tons of things that should not be treated as trivia.

8. Suicide is NEVER the answer. I know that some of you might think that dying means escaping your problems or yourself. But it doesn’t help at all. If you think the world is better off without you, you are wrong. There are people out there who loves you and will do anything just to make you happy. I know it’s hard to live but it’s worth it, trust me. Life is worth it. And please don’t think for even a second that you don’t matter. You matter. Please remember that.

9. Sometimes, listening to someone’s problem is more than enough. Being present through the rough times is enough. We don’t need to physically help our friend when they are feeling down. Sometimes, knowing that someone is out there willing to listen is enough. We shouldn’t take it as our primary obligation to fix their problems. We can only do so much, they have to fix their problems themselves. What we can do is to make them feel that we’re just there, that we are more than willing to help them.

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Photo taken from 8bitfiction

10. Healing takes an awfully lot of time. You can’t easily mend your broken pieces. It will take a loooooong time in order to be genuinely okay. Healing itself is a process and it’s a process that no one should hurry. So, slow down. Breathe. You’ll be fine. We will be fine.

11. Admitting to yourself that you are not okay helps. I’ve been playing hero for the past few weeks and I realized that I’m just destroying myself in the process. Truth is, I am no hero. I can’t save and help each and every person that I want to help, especially when I, myself, is not completely okay. Plus, there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting the people around you know that you are not okay (Back to number 5).

12. Crying gives off wonderful effects. While it’s unhealthy to cry each night, crying helps in releasing your emotions. Crying isn’t for the weak, that is a really stupid idea. Crying only means that you’ve had too much of the world’s bullshit. It is completely normal.

13. Home is anywhere you feel safe. This is actually a basic thing. But I used to believe that home is the four corners of my household. And I’ve never been so wrong. I’ve met people who made me feel worthy and strong and most importantly, safe. Now, I can proudly say that I can describe the word home in two words. (Hi, MD! ♥)

14. Don’t dwell on things that makes you unhappy. It doesn’t matter if it’s a person or a thing. If that someone or something makes you feel like shit, leave it. Throw it away. There’s no sense in keeping things that aren’t doing you any good. Don’t let anyone destroy you. You deserve to be happy. Find the things that gives your heart joy and stick to those. Life is too damn short to fill it with negativity.

15. Life, no matter how inconsiderate it is, is beautiful and worth living. I get it. Life is unfair and harsh and rough. But it’s only because we focus on the bad side of it. It’s important to remember the good. Because there is always good in the bad. Look around you, let the world sink in yourself. Memorize the horizon. Take photographs of the moon. Smell the flowers. Dance with the wind. Spend time with your loved ones. Feel every drop of the rain or the snow or the syrup falling on your spoon while you eat your favorite pancake. Smile. Laugh. Listen to uplifting music. Dream of the things you want to be or you want to do. Do it. Travel. Meet new people. Read the book your mother gave you last Christmas. Eat. Seriously. Just live. Stay. And I promise you, it is worth it. So don’t give up, okay?

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