Somewhere between sleeping and living

I’ll sleep until the unwanted passes,

Until every horrible well in my mind shushes.

I’ll sleep until my eyes forget what it feels like to see the first rays of sunshine,

Or how I look like bathing on it during the good days—

Smiling, laughing, dreaming.

 

I’ll sleep until the knots inside my head break free,

Until the loud pounding in my chest reverts back to a heartbeat.

I’ll sleep until my toes forget what it feels like to stand,

To have the strength to lead the way and the power to stop.

Lately, all I wish is for the world to stop.

 

I’ll sleep until the darkness becomes a friend,

Until the hushed pleas turn into echoes— help asking for help.

I’ll sleep until I forget how to conjure whimsical adventures in my dreams,

Because if dreams represent reality, I’d have thunderstorms as my sun—

My skin a hint of goodbyes and broken promises, my breath: lifeless.

 

So, I’ll sleep once more,

Hoping not to be blue as the skies and deep as the ocean.

I’ll sleep, sleep tight—

Tighter than the bedroom of the screams I keep,

Thinking, feeling, wishing: a better tomorrow.

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Of nostalgia and innocence: Starry Starry Night

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Artistically photographed and wonderfully written, Starry Starry Night is a poignant tale revolving two kindred souls, Mei and Jay, and their difficult journey towards adulthood. Based from the best-selling novel of the same title by Jimmy Liao, a famous Taiwanese illustrator, this film did not stir away from its origin’s charms—creating gorgeous computer graphics of colorful origami animals and even a magnificent moving version of Van Gogh’s Starry Night.

The film tells about the life of Mei, a 13-year old student, fighting her way out of her parent’s fading romance and the death of her beloved grandfather through imagination; finding solace in escaping reality during its hardest moments. Mei found companionship in Jay, a quiet, isolated boy who turns to his sketchbook to hide scars from his abusive father and overall dysfunctional family. When the two found themselves stuck in a reality they both don’t want to be in, they set foot on a journey looking for stars, momentary happiness and perhaps, love.

Directed and written (screenplay) by Tom Lin in 2011, Starry Starry Night bagged various awards and nominations during its release and amongst these are, Best Cinematography (Jake Pollock) in the 2012 Asia-Pacific Film Festival and Audience Award Feature at N.Y. International Children’s Film Festival way back in 2013.

Although the visual style and youthful romance might remind some audience of Gondry and Anderson’s (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Moonrise Kingdom) work, Lin did not fail in putting his own touch in the film. He told Mei’s story in such a sincere and emotional way that would captivate any type of audience and would generate tears even in the most silent and ordinary scenes. Of course, he achieved this with the help of Jiao Xu’s endearing portrayal of Mei and Hui-Min Lin’s (Jay) natural innocence. It is also thanks to the technical aspects of the film; from its beautiful and timely visual, stunning art direction and post-production, which resulted into magnificent woven scenes exuding warmth, innocence and honesty through its colors, settings and overall feel. These helped in fulfilling the gaps that the too common soundtrack admittedly failed to fill.

While it is agreeable that Lin used a very obvious metaphor in the shape of a missing puzzle piece, it is still a necessary element, since it made way for one of the most powerful scenes to take hold in the film which was the dream sequence, wherein Mei watched her life fall apart into tiny puzzle pieces while desperately trying to catch them using her small hands. It is an excellent depiction of every person’s greatest horror—to see everything they have believed in, quickly crumble before their eyes.

Furthermore, the missing puzzle piece strengthens the film’s message, which is finding the brightest star and using it as a map to lead one back in the person or place it belongs. It is perhaps the reason why it begins and ends on Christmas Eve, to show the viewers that no matter what happens, everyone will find their own way home—that even people possessing the loneliest of hearts, have the capability to belong.

By far, it is obvious that the Starry Starry Night’s secret lies in its simplicity and in its power to grasp the audience’s emotions by simply keeping it real. In spite of the film losing its initial voice and inclining way too much in its first-love story line, Lin still deserves an applause for managing to show a wonderfully crafted film mixed with a huge amount of melancholy and art.

Ma bonne étoile: My Lucky Star

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Photo taken from Tumblr. All rights reserved.

There was once a little girl who loves gazing at the stars. Every night, she would lie on her back and watch them. She would tell them stories and sing them melodies. Once she finished spilling her heart to the open sky, she would close her eyes and wish for her very own star.

One night, as the little girl gazed upon the stars with her gray and hopeful eyes, she noticed a lone star on the west of the moon. It was just a little speck in the night sky but for the girl, it was the prettiest star she have ever seen. It never made sense to her now, but her little self back then was convinced that she was utterly and completely in love with the star.

Years passed, and the little girl grew up. Still, she gazed on her window every night, faithfully watching her “star.” She would read poetry to it and consistently painted it on her lips, wrists and fingers. In her head, heart and life.

“They are only gas, you know. And some of them are even dead.” A boy told her.

But she did not listen. She continued to talk to her star and the star continued to glow. Her whole life unconsciously turned into a cycle yet, she does not see this.

A bunch of years passed and the girl quickly grew into a woman. But unlike before, her smile lost its radiance. Before, you would see in her eyes a thousands of stories waiting to be told but now, only the remains of failed relationships and broken promises resides in there. She was slowly losing hope for her reunion with her “star.” The woman felt foolish for trusting it. For believing that it could literally sweep her off her feet and bring her to paradise.

This was when she started to blame her misery to the same thing that gave her solace: stars. The only thing she could muster to it was the inevitable question: “Why?” But the star only glowed in response.

Silently, the woman fell on a deep black hole. She did these for a countless of months. Five? Six? She does not know. She does not care.

But one night, the girl decided to gaze at the stars for one, last time.

“For old times’ sake.” The woman said.

“They are only gas, you know? And some of them are even dead.” A voice whispered behind her.

The woman knew that voice. It was a voice from long ago. A voice she did not expect to hear again. She spun around and looked at the man standing before her. She looked at his almost-but-not-quite familiar face.

“For old times’ sake?” The man asked.

The girl gazed at his eyes and smiled.

There was no need for words for at that moment, she felt like the whole universe was standing before her.

~fin~